can't buy me love
by Mulligatawny
Summary: I don't care too much for money because money can't buy me love. /Pivotal events in the life of Andre Harris.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. **

* * *

i.

He's only 3 years old when his grandma tells him something he'll never forget: "No matter how bad things get, you can always make it better with a song."

_(And so a love for music is instilled in his little heart.)_

ii.

A year later, he's at his grandma's house _(it's so tiny compared to his parents' new mansion) _and everyone's dressed in black and holding tissues to their noses and why is everyone so sad? They're all whispering things like _'__heart attack'_ and '_his poor wife' _and '_dead' _and he's walking around tugging on people's dresses and suit jackets mumbling "Where's Grandpa?" They all just ignore him or give him pitying looks and oh it's so frustrating! 20 minutes later, he still hasn't found Grandpa but he finds Grandma sitting on a sofa leafing through a tattered notebook.

He walks over to her and sits next to her and the pages are full of musical notes and lyrics and he recgonizes it. And he starts looking at it too, remembering warm sunny afternoons sitting on Grandpa's lap listening to him play the piano accompanied with Grandma's singing. The songs were so lively. His Grandpa's smile would put the sun to shame and his grandma smelled like apple blossoms, thanks to the perfume Grandpa gave her _(but she doesn't smell like that now)._ So when his grandma closes the book, he asks "Where's Grandpa?" for what feels like the millionth time that day. So his grandma turns to look at him and she tells him "Grandpa's gone, baby. He's not coming back." and his grandma starts crying again. Then he hears Daddy _(who has the only dry face in the room)_ making a speech about Grandpa's life and sudden 'death' _(but what does that word mean?)_.

Not only that, but the speech is too stiff to be about someone as lively and vibrant as his grandpa. So Andre snatches away the notebook and he drags his grandma to the grand piano. He forces his grandma to sit down on the piano bench and he opens the notebook to a page marked with a picture of him and his grandparents. He points to the lyrics and notes and tells his grandma to start playing and she listens. The room falls silent and Andre starts singing. It's a song about dreams and wishes and shooting stars _(it had always been Andre's favorite). _Sure, he mispronounces some of the words and he stumbles over some of the lyrics, but when he's done, everyone has a watery smile plastered on their faces _(but the tears keep on spilling out)_. And his grandma pats him on the head. He remembers what his grandma had told him about music making it all better.

At the end of the day when he's being led out the door by his parents, some distant family member he doesn't know stops him and tells him "You're just like your grandpa." That thought is his sole comfort when he gets home and he's crying _(alone because mommy and daddy are at a business meeting)_ in his room because he finally realizes that the words "Grandpa's dead" mean his best friend in the world's gone forever.

Just like that.

iii.

It's his first day of school and he wakes up in the morning and he walks out of his room and down the marble staircase of his huge _(empty) _mansion and he walks into the kitchen and instead of being greeted by his parents like most kids, he's greeted with nothing but a nod from his family's personal chef and an empty kitchen table. _(His parents were always at work in the mornings.) _He sits down and just stares at his plate. After a while, the butler breaks the silence and asks "Why aren't you eating?" He responds with "Why aren't Mommy and Daddy here to take me to school?" The butler's eyes soften and he replies "They're working. They always work in the mornings." Andre sighs and reluctantly eats his breakfast. When he finishes, he gets up and wanders around the empty hallways and thinks of times when his parents were around more often. _(But those were the days before his parents were millionaires who had business meetings to attend and regional headquarters to jet off to.) _

All of a sudden, the maid appears behind him and her face is flushed and she's panting. When she regains her breath, she says "Andre! I've been looking all over for you! You're gonna be late for school!" and she grabs hims by the wrist and drags him off to the limo where the driver's waiting outside, a backpack and Spider-Man lunchbox in his hands. The driver opens the door and Andre hops in. The limo makes its way down the palm tree-lined roads and pulls into a school parking lot, where everyone stands staring, mouths open in awe at the newest arrival. The limo driver opens the door and escorts him to Room 5 where a nice-looking lady with frizzy red hair all over the place and flowy clothes opens the door and ushers Andre inside to his desk.

The school day's dull and the clock seems to be ticking _s l o w e r _and _s l o w e r _as the teacher _(who introduces herself as Ms. Palma) _explains everything that Andre had already been told at home by his nanny. But he perks up as he hears the teacher mention something he loves: music. Ms. Palma points out a keyboard on a table in the back of the room and she walks over, picks it up, and sits at her desk with all the papers shuffled off to the side and she starts playing a song and hearing the melody, Andre cheers up. He raises his hand and waits patiently _(like all good little boys do)_ to be called on. The teacher gives him permission to talk. He asks if he can play a song. The teacher looks surprised but she manages a "Yes." He walks over to the desk and he starts playing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and the whole class falls silent. _(He seems to have a habit of doing that to people.) _

This happens every day for the rest of the week. 10 minutes before dismissal, the teacher will tell everyone to put their things away and Andre will walk up to the desk and sit on a textbook to help him see over the desk and play properly and he plays. He plays simple songs like "Mary Had A Little Lamb" or he makes something up but it doesn't matter what he plays, it always leaves everyone stunned. At the end of the week, Ms. Palma sends home a note for him to give to his parents.

He gets home and he's doing his spelling homework with his nanny Grace and there's a soft knock on the door followed by his parents coming in. They sit on the edge of his bed and ask him how his week's been. He starts rambling about the teacher, his new friends, and all of a sudden he remembers the note. He takes out the note and shows it to his parents. His parents start reading it, a smile creeping up on their faces. Andre's just staring at them, waiting for them to explain what it says _(after all, it wasn't like he could read). _Instead, his parents put the note down, pat him on the back, and walk out the room saying something about a week-long business trip that they had to pack for.

Nanny _(as she preferred to be called)_ picked up the note and when she finished reading it, she put it down, and Andre asked her what it said. Beaming, she set Andre on her lap and told him the note was all about how talented he was at playing the piano and that he was a musical prodigy. His little face scrunched up in confusion, he asks what a prodigy is. She gives him a bone-crushing hug _(she was surprisingly strong for such a frail looking woman in her 60s)_ him and whispers "It means your name might be in shining lights someday, darling. Oh, I've always known you were special."_(He likes the sound of that.)_ She then starts gushing about how proud she is and how her little boy's gonna be a _s t a r. _

It doesn't require a lot of thinking for Andre to realize what's wrong with this picture.

iv.

He's been taking piano lessons after school for about 4 months now when one day he goes into the Studio _(as his parents called the room dedicated to his musical studies_) and he sees the best gift he could've gotten: Grandpa's piano. It's there in all its glory and Grandma's sitting on the bench, making sure it's in tune. Andre runs over to her and gives her a hug, wrapping his little arms around his grandma's waist. She smiles and pats the seat next to her, beckoning Andre to sit next to her.

So he sits and asks "What do you want me to play?" His grandma ruffles his hair affectionately and tells him "Anything you want." He mulls this over for a few seconds and you can practically hear the lightbulb go _ding! _over his head when he starts playing. It's a simple, sweet melody that his grandmother has never heard before but she loves it anyways. When he finishes, he can hear the final note reverberate around the room.

His grandmother has her eyes shut and a smile on her lips. _(He can't help but think it feels like forever since he saw that smile.) _After a couple of minutes, she opens her eyes. She asks him "Where did you hear that song?" and it sounds like she's coming out of a dream. Andre grins. "I came up with it all by myself!" His grandma kisses his head and the thoughtful look on her face is replaced with one of pride and joy.

It's a look he has't gotten in quite a while.

v.

It's the night of his first real performance. He's got butterflies in his stomach the whole way there but he decides he likes the feeling. _(After all, isn't anticipation half the fun?)_ He's jumping up&down&up&down in his seat because he just can't contain his energy. The limo driver's eyes show amusement as he looks in the rearview mirror. "Excited, Mr. Harris?" Andre just keeps on jumping up&down&updown. "I'll take that as a yes."

His mind keeps on coming back to a conversation he had with his parents. _(__"Mom? Dad? You're coming to the talent show tonight right?" "Of course darling. Wouldn't miss it for the world.") _And he smiles as he thinks about how Grandma's coming too _(even though she hasn't been too keen on leaving the house lately). _Nanny was coming too. She was gonna come with his grandma. But since he was a performer, he had to show up before the family members did to set up his equipment and get ready. Nevertheless, he's smiling so wide, he thinks his face might crack any second. _(But it never does.)_

He gets to the school and his teacher Mr. Mitchell guides him to the backstage area of the auditorium. He's never felt anything like it. He sees the stagehands darting around fixing the lights or helping a little kid with their things. Mr. Mitchell leads him to the waiting area for the 3rd graders and he quickly finds his friends. Their talents are those you might expect from eight-year-olds: magic tricks, singing, etc. Andre feels proud of the fact he's the only pianist in the whole program.

It's 30 minutes later and they're wrapping up with the last act in the second graders' portion of the show when Andre peeks his head out from behind the curtains, his face obscured by the shadows. He scans the crowd when his eyes fall on a row with familiar faces. He sees the limo driver, Nanny, Grandma, and...that was it. Mom and Dad weren't there.

He's about to run out into the abandoned hallway when he bumps into his kindergarten teacher Ms. Palma. "Andre! What are you doing? Don't you know you're up next?" She didn't wait for a response. Instead, she just took him by the hand and led him to the piano waiting for him on stage. He's introduced by the principal. He sits down on the piano bench and his fingers start moving so fast across the eighty-eight keys, they're a blur. As he plays, it feels like his grandpa's right next to him, smiling down on him. He can even just barely make out the smell of his grandpa's cologne. He risks a glance to the side. But Grandpa's not there. After this, he pretends like there's a sign hanging over him with his name in bright lights _(bright enough for his parents to see wherever they were)._

He finishes the song and the auditorium erupts into applause.

He puts on a fake smile and takes a bow. At the end of the night, everyone's piled into his limo showering him with praise. He ignores the pity in their eyes. They drop off his grandma at her house and 15 minutes later, they're at his house. They walk into the mansion but there's no sign of his parents. Henry goes to his room to turn in for the night and Nanny Grace tucks him in telling him of a future where his name's on a marquee and his songs dominate the radio waves. She leaves the room, shutting the lights off. Andre decides to wait for his parents to come in and apologize or at least to say goodnight.

He ends up waiting the whole night.

vi.

It's the first weekend of the first week of fourth grade and he's at the park with Nanny. She's sitting on a park bench feeding sunflower seeds to the nearby birds and squirrels. He's rocking back and forth like a pendulum on the swings. The park is abandoned except for a chubby toddler being chased by his very tired-looking babysitter who probably isn't being paid enough for what she's suffering right now. But it can't be worse than what he just went through.

The previous night, his parents had pinky promised him to take him out for ice cream today in order to make up for saying they'd pick him up but forgetting to. So of course, he got super excited. When he woke up this morning, he practically skipped down the stairs. But what did he find when he got to the dining room?

Not his parents. No, they remembered at the last minute they had a corporate retreat in Switzerland. So, Nanny took him to the park to take his mind of things. But there was nobody for him to play with. And a person could only go down the slides so many times before their skin starts burning. So he went on the swings.

After a while, the swinging becomes too monotonous to keep his short attention span busy. So he jumps off and lands on a small rock with jagged edges. He scrapes his knee and curls up in the fetal position, biting his lip to keep the tears from spilling because big boys don't cry. After a few minutes he drags himself up so that's he's sitting on the grass that tickles his legs. Thank God nobody was there to witness that. The last thing he needs is for mean Jade West to find out about his temporary display of weakness and make fun of him for it. She'll make fun of people for anything. She once made fun of crazy Cat Valentine for liking red velvet cupcakes more than chocolate cupcakes. But they're girls; so one week later, they magically became best friends, the cupcake incident long forgotten. Andre knew better than to ask. All smart boys know that if you ask a girl too many questions, you'll get cooties and die. Or at least that's what Jade told everybody. Ever since she said that, the guys and girls don't talk to each other too often. They're all afraid that if they get cooties and die, they'll get to heaven and see that there are no chocolate chip cookies. He hates Jade. He really does. But all nine-year-old boys hate whoever their current crush is. So that doesn't really mean anything.

He grabs the rock and examines it. He briefly considers yelling at it and explaining to it that it's not nice to hurt people. But he realizes that's stupid because rocks can't talk. He looks around and sees a...thingamabobber hanging from a tree a little behind the bench Nanny's sitting on (he's not sure what it is from this far away; hence the term thingamabobber). There seems to be little black dots coming in and out of it. He suddenly sits up straight. He has a vague memory of his grandparents sitting in patio chairs on the back porch. He was sitting on his grandpa's lap. His grandma had just finished watering the plants. Andre had asked about the buzzes he could hear coming from the flowers. That's when his grandpa decided to explain the whole concept of bees as best as he could to a four-year-old.

In the end, he had to tell Andre they were nature's assistants that helped the flowers grow and that the buzzing was the sound of their magic at work. Andre understood this much better than the explanation with words he didn't understand like pollination. Impulsively, Andre throws the rock at what he now knows is a bee hive. Well, it's not like nine-year-oilds are known for their great decision-making skills. Nanny looks away from the squirrels she's feeding and sees the rock soar through the air and hit the beehive. She hears an agitated buzz coming from its direction. A black swarm emerges from the hive. Her eyes grow wide from behind her glasses. She gets up and walks as quickly as her aged bones will let her, grabs Andre by the hand, and starts tugging him towards the limo where the chaffeur is waiting.

He's reluctant at first but he sees a little girl about three or four years old who just got there get stung and start crying. She throws herself on the ground, her crying now a wail as she rubs the bee sting near her ankle. Her parents rush over to her and start murmuring soothing words to her, promising to make it better. As the black swarm gets closer, Nanny starts walking faster.

The following Monday is a school day like any other. Jade picks on anybody who breathes her air, people meow at Cat just to see her sob, blubbering "What's that supposed to mean?", and Andre's sitting with his small group of friends. They're discussing whether worms or spiders are more effective for warding off cooties. He nods his head, occasionally contributing to the conversation.

But the whole time he's wondering what his parents would do if he came home with a bee sting.

_(Not much he thinks. No- he k n o w s .)_

vii.

When he's 13, he writes his first play. It's the perfect blend of romance, humor, friendship, and drama. It even has some songs in it. None of his friends believe him at first when he says he wrote it but he's _Andre Harris_ and he could convince you the moon was made of cheese if he wanted to. So they tell him to show it to the drama teacher and persuade her to stage it. He's unsure as to whether or not to show it to the teacher. After all, he had only written it just to see if he could_. _So he's sitting in drama class, wondering what to do when this popular kid all the girls drool over named Beck Oliver walks up to him, calmly takes the script from his hands, and gives it to the teacher. All he can think as Beck shows Ms. Brown the script is that he never really liked Beck Oliver _(too nonchalant and predictably likable)_. Ms. Brown reads the script, occasionally raising an eyebrow in surprise. When she finishes, she starts whispering again and pointing at Andre while Beck just nods his head. She writes something down on a scrap sheet of paper and attaches it to the script with a paper clip.

She hands the script back to Beck who in turn gives it back to Andre. Andre looks down at the note. It reads _"Congratulations. Your play will be staged as part of the Spring Festival." _He walks over to where Beck is and confronts him. "Why'd you do that?" Beck give him a half-smile. "Easy. Your play's great, but you weren't gonna do anything about it. so I took matters into my own hands." Beck shrugs and walks away, leaving Andre feeling a little accomplished and even kind of proud of himself. _(Maybe Beck Oliver isn't quite that predictable.)_

It's one week later and he's sitting at a long wooden table with Ms. Brown holding auditions for his play in the auditorium. The first name on the list is surprising. It's Beck Oliver. Andre hadn't thought of Beck as a serious actor or singer. He had always assumed the only reason Beck took drama was because it was an easy A. But Beck Oliver is full of surprises. He completely blows Andre and Ms. Brown out of the water with his audition. So of course they cast him as the lead role. The other auditions have a hard time living up to the expectations Beck has set. But they end up casting all the other roles anyways. _(For some reason, he wonders what Cat and Jade would think.)_

After a couple of months of rehearsals filled with wardrobe malfunctions and forgotten lines, the play's opening night finally comes around. From the beginning of the first scene, Andre can tell it's gonna be a success. The audience is hooked on the story from the first sentence and they all fall silent at the sound of Beck's voice.

When the play ends, he and Beck are approached backstage by a smiling man in glasses with a twinkle in his eye. He asks them something that'll make sure their lives are never the same: "How would you like to go to Hollywood Arts High School?" Without waiting for a reply, he hands them both application forms to take home to their parents. He and Beck exchange glances and reluctant high-fives _(the start of a new friendship)._

When he gets home, he shows his parents the application form for Hollywood Arts. They take one glance at it, sign it, and go to their respective offices for a conference call. He sighs. He's used to them not caring. He starts wondering what it'll take for his parents to notice him. He may have been used to being at the bottom of their list of priorities but that didn't mean he had to take it lying down. So he starts considering other hobbies he could take up. He's already a talented songwriter and pianist. He knew he couldn't play sports. What else was left? Then it hits him. He could learn to play other instruments. See how far into music his abilities reach. But why settle? He decides he'll be a _p e r f e c t_ musician. He realizes this is impossible. But he pushes that thought to the back of his mind.

After all, he's just like his grandfather _(right down to the name) _so he just _has_ to live up to that legacy and make sure he shines.

viii.

It's his sophomore year at Hollywood Arts and it's time for the Big Showcase. It's been 2 years since he's decided he'll do whatever it takes for his parents to see him as _p e r f e c t _and make them see what they've been missing out on. Then he gets partnered up with none other but _Talentless Trina_. One meeting at the courtyard to discuss their plans and he realizes just how disastrous this could turn out. She can't sing. She can't dance. To top it all off, her ego was way too inflated for her own good. _(But he can't help but admire her self-confidence.)_

He shows up at her house one day after school. He walks in trying to figure out he can stop this trainwreck before it happens. His mind veers off track when he sees a very pretty girl who smells..interesting. Later, he and Trina, along with Trina's sister _(he's learned her name is Tori)_ work on the song. It's mind-numbing and head-ache inducing working with Trina. However, Tori _(who Andre thinks just radiates positive energy) _makes it all better. _(The jumbo-size aspirin bottle helped a lot too.)_

Tori helps Trina come up with the dance moves and when she thinks nobody's listening, she sings the song. It blows Andre away. Her voice is just indescribable. He wonders why she doesn't sing more often. But then Trina walks in talking about how _amazing_ and _fabulous_ she was and it all clicks. How could anyone have an ego when they grew up with Trina? So he pretends he's never heard Tori sing and he pretends like he doesn't purposely wait a few minutes before walking into the living room just to check if Tori was singing.

It's a few weeks later when he wakes up and his calendar reads "_Big Showcase Today_" in bright red sharpie. He actually managed to convince his grandma to go see him perform. It's gonna be the first time in years she leaves the house. _(He's never felt so special.) _So with that happy thought floating in his mind, he goes downstairs to eat breakfast. Miraculously, both his parents are sitting at the table, their faces buried behind newspapers. They don't acknowledge him until he 'accidentally' has a coughing fit.

When he's sure that he has his parents' attention, he asks them a question. _(It might as well be rhetorical because he's one hundred percent sure he knows the answer already.) "_So are you coming to the Big Showcase?" His parents stare at him with a blank expression on their faces. _(That whole thing about him knowing the answer? Scratch that.)_ "The Big Showcase? I've been working on it for weeks every day after school with my partner?" The blank expressions remained. "I was in it last year?" He gave up on getting an answer and explained to his parents what the Big Showcase was.

His mom put down the newspaper she had been reading. His dad leaves the kitchen to take a call. He seems to be doing that a lot lately and Andre feels a stab of suspicion. His father never left the room to take a call. But he ignores it, thinking it's paranoia. _(Tsk tsk...he should've listened to his instincts.)_ "Well dear...it's just your father and I have so many meetings scheduled for today. You know how crazy the workload gets when we have deals to negotiate with our business partners. You understand right?" His parents stared at him, waiting for an answer. He let out a resigned sigh. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever."

His shoulders sag as he shuffles out of the kitchen, his appetite ruined. He bumps into Nanny. _(Yes, he is 15 years old and he still has a nanny. But how willing would you be to give up one of the few people in your life you could always count on?) _She gave him a sad smile and patted his back reassuringly. But he still feels like the eight-year-old boy who was up all night waiting for parents that never came. _(Hasn't that been him his whole life?)_

When the bell rings that day, he stays at school to help the stagehands set up for the Big Showcase. _(Not like he has anything to go to home but an empty mansion devoid of happy memories.) _He helps with the lighting, the costumes, anything that'll take his mind of his parents' lack of affection towards him. _(He'd show them someday how wrong they were to be like that.) _Everytime he thinks of his parent' reaction at breakfast, he drowns that thought out by mentally repeating to himself that his grandma's coming and that at least she'll be there waiting for him when at the end. Oh and Tori was coming too. But he wasn't looking forward to seeing her. Not at all. _(Well maybe just a little...)_

He walks around backstage when he sees a mob of people surrounding something he can't see. He pushes his way through and sees Trina with an enlarged tongue that if he squinted a little, he could see it throbbing erratically. The nurse whisks Trina away to massage her tongue. He can't help but feel bad for the gloves which must come in contact with Trina's saliva. Everyone's standing around whispering, wondering what will happen now that Trina's spot in the show is empty.

Andre gets an idea. He tells everyone that Tori knows all the lyrics and choreography. She starts panicking, saying that she's not good enough. But nobody cares what she's saying, they just drag her off to get changed. She tries to run away but someone picks her upand thrusts her into the spotlight. Andre can't help but think she looks like she belongs on stage. After a few verses, he sees her transform. Like he's watching a cocoon break open and reveal a beautiful butterfly, testing its wings.

The performance ends and Andre can feel it in the air, he can feel that the crowd just _adores_ Tori. _(He can't blame them.) _The principal walks up to Tori and offers her acceptance into the school. He can't stand the sound of her saying she's not good enough. So, he walks over to Sinjin, raises the curtain, and shouts at the audience, asking if they think Tori's good enough. The crowd starts whooping and cheering. She relents and accepts the principal's offer to Hollywood Arts. She hugs him. The smell of her hair reminds him of warm sunny afternoons with his grandparents, back when his grandma would wear her apple blossom-scented perfume. _(She only wears generic-smelling perfume now.)_

When he goes to sleep that night, the soundtrack to his dreams is Tori singing _'Make It Shine' _and the scent of apple blossoms follows him everywhere.

viv.

A couple weeks later, he's lying awake in bed. Thinking. About Tori. Again. He can't quite explain why this is happening to him. But it does remind of when he got his first piano. He'd spend all day playing songs or making up simple melodies off the top of his head. At night, when Nanny was finally able to get him away from the piano, he'd stay awake for hours. How could he fall asleep with all the melodies and words in his head just begging to be written down? So he hid a notebook in a nightstand drawer. Every night after Nanny made sure he was asleep _(but he always just pretended to sleep), _he'd take out the notebook and combine the melodies and words on the paper, with nothing but the moonlight to illuminate the pages. Andre thought the pages looked so pretty, like the words and notes were glowing. He would pretend they were glowing not because of the moonlight, but because they had come alive thanks to him.

This is when it hits him. He realizes that he's falling for Tori Vega. But he knows he isn't the only one. It was pretty obvious. Robbie had fallen hard and fast. _(Any day now, he expects Robbie to start drooling in the middle of a conversation with Tori). _Beck seemed to be slightly attracted to her at first but Beck's too in love with Jade to even want to pursue Tori. He sees all the fleeting glances guys give her when she walks in a room. _She's magical., _he thinks suddenly. He's not really used to being cheesy but he still thinks it's true. After all, how else could she be beautiful, smart, talented, and nice?

His grandpa was magical too. There is not a single soul on the planet that hated his grandpa. His grandpa could make anyone laugh no matter how much their tears resembled a waterfall. His grandpa had a deep, rich voice that shut up the entire room the moment it started singing. His grandpa never became famous but he said it was better that way. He would always tell people that by not entering Hollywood, his music wasn't tainted by the artificiality of it. _(Andre doesn't quite agree with not becoming famous. He wants to spread the joy and receive the attention. But oh well.)_ All his parents' friends would always tell Andre he got his musical abilities from his grandpa. Not like he has a problem with it. It helps keep the memories from fading. _(Having his grandpa's memories fade away is one of his biggest fears.) _

All of a sudden, he's hit by a sudden rush of memories. His grandpa cheering him up when he got a skinned knee, his grandparents taking him to Disneyland while his parents were on a business trip, and him singing with his grandpa. His heart starts aching. He decides to distract himself. He leans over the side of his bed and opens a nightstand drawer. He takes out a notebook filled with dog-eared pages and faded ink. It's the first notebook he ever filled up with songs. He leafs through the notebook, singing the songs in his head to drown out all the other thoughts.

He eventually falls asleep. The next morning at school, he sees Cat. She's looking for Tori for some reason that Andre tunes out. He's not really sure how he'll be able to look her straight in the eye after the previous night's realization. He starts walking with Cat who's in one of her thoughtful moods. They see Tori who's absorbed in whatever she's reading on her laptop. She starts talking about how she needs to find Trina a birthweek present. After an explanation of how Trina demands an entire week dedicated to her birth _(just when he thought she couldn't have a bigger ego)_, the bell rings and they all walk to class.

Later that day, he goes over to Tori's house to help her come up with a birthweek present for Trina. When he's absolutely sure he can't convince Tori cheese is an acceptable present, he tells her to write a song for her, knowing she'll need his help. She asks for his help _(his little plan worked) _and she starts telling him what she loves about Trina. The song starts composing itself in his head as she talks _(songs come so easily to him when he's in a good mood). _He starts playing what he has so far. He looks at her as he says _'I love you', _hoping she'll get the hint. She doesn't seem to notice but she's happy about the song and that's enough for him.

Trina's birthday comes around and Tori dances across the room, singing her heart out. _(She isn't testing her wings anymore, she's flat-out soaring.) _She does a fantastic job but it's not enough for Trina _(he doesn't think anything will ever be enough for Trina). _Tori starts screaming at Trina and she kicks everyone out of the house. He's standing in the rain, huddled under an umbrella with her parents and the back-up dancers.

He's thinking about how he could get Tori to like him. She could have any guy she wanted. Why would she want him? He didn't have much to set himself apart from other guys other than the fact he was a music prodigy. Hollywood Arts doesn't have many douchebags or jerks, so girls have plenty of options. He starts thinking about how she seems to like Beck _(just like three-quarters of all female students at Hollywood Arts). _He decides that maybe it's best to wait for her. Besides, if he pushes too hard, he'll lose her.

And he's lost enough people in his life. His grandma's gone mentally. His grandpa died. Nanny will have to leave eventually. His parents were never actually there to begin with. So, he decides to bide his time. He's not willing to risk heartbreak. _(He never was much of a risk-taker.)_

He goes home that night. There's nothing really special about it. Except he hears something. It's faint but he hears it. He starts walking up the stairs. Nanny's sweeping the hallway frantically, her eyes a million miles away. She sees Andre and for a split second Andre sees worry and fear in her eyes. She tells him to go to bed. He asks why his parents are fighting. She dismisses it with a wave of her hand, telling him to go to bed, it's just a spat over a business deal. He hears the yelling getting louder. It's coming from his parents' joint office. His mom's voice is hoarse and breaking, as if she was crying. Andre walks over to the door with a knot forming in his stomach. He presses his ear against the door, Nanny gently tugging his arm, trying to persuade him to go to bed, he shouldn't be listening to his parents' conversation.

His parents seem to become aware that he's home or they're sick of yelling. His parents have never really fought before. He doesn't quite know what to think when he hears the words _affair _and _secretary _and _how could you? _being shrieked and the sound of his mom softly sobbing. He never could tolerate the sound of his loved ones _(anybody, really) _crying. So he walks away from the door, with Nanny's eyes full of pity following him as he goes to his room and slams the door.

He's never felt so much like screaming. Not when his grandpa died. Not when his parents failed to show up to the third grade talent show. Not when his grandma lost her mind. But he can't scream. There's been enough terrible noises in this house _(not a home) _tonight. Instead, he grabs a pillow and buries his face in it, trying to forget his harsh reality. When that doesn't work, he gets his keyboard and sets it on his lap. _(Some teenagers used drugs or alcohol to numb their pain. Andre used music.) _

He starts pounding the keys randomly. He doesn't bother trying to make it sound pretty. He just wants it to be loud. He wants it to express the screams he's confining to his insides. He wants it to drown out the yelling. The music's hurts his ears but he doesn't care. _(It feels so good to stop caring for once.)_

Andre's furious. How could his father even _think_ about cheating on his mom? Sure, his parents weren't the greatest people in the world, but _this? _This was a new low. Just when he thought his parents couldn't let him down any worse than they already had. But of course, there were cliches in Andre's life that hadn't occured yet so life decided to fix that. Now he's just one step closer to the stereotypical rich kid: ignored, tons of nice things, and a cheating parent. And of course his dad had an affair with a secretary 15 years younger. _(Because this is life and it's all just one big cliche after the other.)_

The shouting starts to fade and it stops with the slam of a door. He walks out of his room into the deserted hallway. The door to his parents' room is slightly ajar and he can just barely see the light coming out from it. He hesitantly walks across the hallway into his parents' room and sees the bathroom door open. His mom's hunched over the sink, splashing her face. He sits on his parents' bed and looks around his parents' room.

It has dark wooden floors, a chandelier, and plush velvet furniture. It's a little too extravagant for Andre's taste. The steady stream of water he heard coming from the bathroom halts. His mom walks out and upon seeing Andre, she freezes. Her eyes are puffy and red. There's still a faint trail of mascara running down her cheeks. Her hair's out of place. But the worst part is the look in her eyes. Not anger. Not agony. Not jealousy. Just sadness. He can't remember the last time his mom, who always tried to look nice, allowed herself to look so broken.

"Um...listen, Mom...I just wanted to say...", Andre couldn't seem to figure out what he was trying to say. "You wanna know what happened, don't you?", his mom asked. He nodded. His mom starts to smooth her hair. He watches as she struggles to compose herself. "Well, it's simple. Your dad...cheated. I found out...We fought. Your father's going to...move out for a couple of days to think. But we're not divorcing. End of story.", his mom manages to get out. Andre nods his head to make it seem like he accepts this for an answer. Even now, his parents refuse to talk to him anymore than necessary. He can tell his mom wants him to leave. So he does. He locks himself in his room, the anger replaced with drowsiness. He puts on an old t-shirt and an even older pair of shorts. _(He never really liked taking advantage of the wealth his parents had accumulated by ignoring him.)_ and pretends he doesn't hear his mom sniffling and crying. He pretends he doesn't care about her heartbreak. _(But that doesn't work because he's a composer not an actor.) _

A couple days later, when he's standing in a recording studio watching _(but not listening to) _Tori record her vocals, he can't help but think his mom was wrong. It isn't 'end of story'. Oh no. This is more like 'end of chapter.' A new chapter is beginning. He doesn't want it to though. He doesn't want to see what it brings. Most would say he's overreacting. But he knows that when one domino falls, they all come crashing down soon afterwards. He doesn't want his family to break anymore than it already has. _(Parentsthatdon'tcare&crazygrandma&deadgrandpa, ohwhatamess!)_

But he knows he can't stop it.

All he can do is watch.

_(The sidelines have never been a fun place for him.)_

x.

Tick tock. Life goes on. Tick tock. He's still in love with Tori. Tick tock. She still seems to like Beck. Tick tock. His dad still cheats on his mom. His mom has stopped caring. Soon, she starts cheating too. His dad doesn't care. Tick tock. His parents are still married due to an unwillingness to split the wealth and lose their social status with their country club 'friends'. Tick tock. They pretend they still love each other _(just like they pretend to care about Andre)_. But at the end of the day, it's the secretaries and assistants they're with. Tick tock. Grandma's still crazy. Tick tock. Some silly mini-adventures with his friends that brighten up his life _(aka the only sane people who care)_. Tick tock. He tells himself that he doesn't care about the damage his parents are inflicting on their bond with each other and with him. Tick tock. Sometimes, he's not sure he believes himself. But he always shrugs that thought off. _(The lie is all he's got to protect the disappointed eight-year-old inside.) _Tick tock. He's still Andre Harris, the shoulder to lean on, the gifted songwriter. Tick tock-

Nobody sees the sadness being obscured by the smiles and song lyrics.

_(Not even Andre himself.)_

xi.

Fast-forward to senior year. Graduation day to be exact. The principal's rambling on and on about the bright future ahead of all the students. He can't help but glance to his side where Tori is. She seems to be lost in her own little dreamland. When he sees her thinks of neon lights that spell out _Tori Vega_ and blinding camera flashes hiding paparazzi looking for flaws and secrets that aren't there. After all, she's the golden girl. Pure liquid gold just like her voice. Not the cheap kind that you think is real only to have it turn rusty after a couple of weeks. He knew this was fact, not opinion. _(The same thing goes for his Grandpa.)_

He's snapped out of his reverie by the sound of Sicowitz shouting "Congratulations class of 2013!" into the microphone. The sky fills with dozens of orange and deep blue tassled caps as the graduating seniors throw their caps in the air _(f__reedom!)._

The young adults walk around chatting with their friends or receiving hugs from teary-eyed hugs from their parents. He walks over to the far end of the football field where the graduation ceremony was held to check up on his grandma who's flinching everytime somebody passes by. His grandma sees him and she relaxes. She gives the field a quick sign to make sure there are no rabbis or anything equally as terrifying coming her way and she gived Andre a bone-crushing hug. She lost most of her sanity but apparently not her strength.

Andre pulls away because that pesky human need to breathe overcame him. He looks around the field, searching for his parents' faces in the sea of people. They aren't there. _(He can tell because the smiles and emotions on the crowd's faces aren't forced.) _He He's still staring blankly at the mob of happyhappy families with sunshine-tinted memories having conversations that are actually pleasant and last more than five seconds when Tori frantically waves to him and his grandma, beckoning them over. _(All she has to do is ask.)_

He starts walking over to Tori's family with his grandma reluctantly following. When he reaches her family, he feels a little envious. He expected to see just Trina _(still waiting to be discovered) _and her parents. But no. This is Tori 'littlemissperfect' Vega so practically her whole family shows up to support her. _(While just his grandma comes and she's not even completely there)_ Apparently her charm is genetic as her whole family seems to have this aura about them that basically screams excellence_. _It's kind of intimidating. She introduces you to her grandparents, 3 aunts, 4 uncles, 9 cousins, and even a second cousin. Andre feels dazzled like a camera flash went off right in front of his eyes. Especially since her second cousin is Sasha Striker, the former best Pak-Rat player in the world. Of course Tori's related to her. _Of course. _

His grandma's hovering behind him the whole time, eyes looking around frantically, refusing to shake anybody's hands. Nonetheless, the Vegas seem to like him anyways. But then again, these people share DNA with Tori who can't hate anybody, even Jade. Eventually, Tori's family disperses to the snack tables scattered around the football field and Trina goes off to the bathroom because she hasn't powdered her nose or looked at her reflection for 30 whole minutes. He, his grandma, and Tori stand there in an awkward silence until Tori runs off to talk to her current boyfriend Randy. _(He's always hated that name.)_

He absentmindedly kicks around a golden balloon laying on the floor. It was just lying there forgotten while all the other balloons were tied in clusters to chairs. But the balloon was just as big and shiny as the others. Just because nobody cared enough to pick it up and tie back to the chair it had fallen from didn't mean it was useless! It was just as capable of reaching the stars!

Dear god, he's empathizing with a balloon.

He shakes his head of the thought as he values his sanity and would like to keep it. He thinks about something Cat told him before the ceremony started. ("Just watch! You'll be the first of us to become famous!")

He desperately hopes she's right.

xii.

Tell him you're proud of him. That you love him. That he's like his grandpa. Please?

xiii.

It's Andre's first real day in Hollywood. It's been three months since his high school graduation. He's decided to skip college and he goes straight to the talent agency in the hopes someone will do what his parents never could: see that he's destined to be one of the brightest stars in Hollywood. _(He doesn't seem to realize that when all the stars shine so bright, they all blend together; unnoticed until they explode.) _

He walks into the office and he has his purple spiral notebook _(the one with the picture of him and Tori taped to the front) _with all his new love songs in it. _(Guess who inspired them all?) _

The agent's a serious-looking brunette and she might've been pretty once upon a time before she had one too many Botox injections.

She looks at him and without bothering to introduce herself, she snatches the music-filled notebook and leafs through it. She knows who he is but it's only because it's his name in the appointment book. She didn't give him a chance to properly introduce himself but oh well. Her face is expressionless except for the occasional raised eyebrow but that could be the Botox preventing her emotions from showing. _(Andre doesn't need Botox for that.)_

She slaps the notebook on her desk and leans back in her chair, deep in thought. Andre delicately picks up the notebook and absentmindedly starts stroking the picture of him and Tori. It's a strip of four pictures that they took in a photo booth at the mall. He starts to think about the day the picture was taken.

It was just the two of them. At first, Beck&Jade and Cat&Robbie _(the whole group paired off except for them two) _were supposed to come along with them to the movie theater.

But then Robbie found out he had a second cousin twice removed on his Mamaw's side and he had to go to her bat mitzvah and of course he convinced Cat to go with him. _(Lesson: When you're dating someone, it's a lot harder to refuse to meet their family members.) _

Beck&Jade were going to go until Jade decided she'd rather not watch the romantic comedy Tori selected. She thought it was too sappy and that she'd puke if she was forced to watch one and a half hours of some cliche love story. So she convinced Beck to have a Saw movie marathon in his RV, stating that guts and gore were much more enjoyable to watch then the aforementioned cliche love story. _(Andre still wonders to this day how much of the marathon they actually watched and how much time they spent making out or...other stuff he'd rather not think about.) _

So it went from Tori, Andre, Beck&Jade, and Cat&Robbie to just Tori and Andre. Not like he minded. _(But he did wish they were Tori&Andre instead of just plain Tori and Andre.)_

He picked Tori up at her house in his black pick-up truck that he bought used because he thought the cherry red convertible with the unpronouncable German name was too ostentatious. He's never felt comfortable flaunting his wealth. Unlike certain people. _(CoughMom&DadCough) _

He walked up to the front door and rang the doorbell. He heard Tori's voice yell that the door was open and to come on in. He stepped inside with the intention of looking all suave and nonchalant about the fact they were going to be alone at the movies.

Instead he tripped on her rug just in time for her to witness it.

So after recovering from that embarassment, he and Tori walked out of the house and drove away; Tori texting Beck the whole time. _(Think of it as a knight in faded denim and a golden-voiced princess riding away on a mighty stallion/pick-up truck; only this knight is stuck in Ye Olde Friend Zone and a happily ever after for them isn't set in concrete by large loopy letters at the bottom of a well-worn page.)_

It took a while for Tori and Andre to get to the movie theater because it was located a good while away from the glitz and glamour of Hollywood but Andre didn't mind. He just saw it as an opportunity to begin chipping away at the shackles that bind him to the Friend Zone.

They pulled up to the street where the movie theater was. Andre payed the parking meter while Tori admired the towering building with swaying palm trees and a fountain in front. _(You can escape the artificiality of Hollywood but you'll never escape the exaggeration.)_

They casually stepped up to the ticket booth where Andre pays for his tickets to watch _'The First Date' _which was the prequel to _'The First Kiss'. _Tori was (and is) one of the twenty-something people that enjoyed that movie. But Andre's always been a gentleman so he didn't say anything. _(Instead he thought he should've ruined Beck&Jade's couple time or crashed Robbie's second cousin twice removed's bat mitzvah.) _

They walked inside the movie theater when Tori squealed and promptly began to tug Andre by the hand to what had caused her spaz attack. As they got closer, he realized that it was a photo booth. Tori dragged him inside stating that it would be 'un-American and un-Best Friend like of him to pass up such a golden opportunity to take a picture inside the underappreciated wonder that is a photo booth'.

He wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. So he just sat in the booth while Tori quickly selected all the options that were 'worthy of their awesomeness'.

Next thing he knew the camera was snapping away at them. He was afraid he came out stupid in the pictures but those fears dissolved when Tori squealed that they looked like 'the awesomest people to ever grace a photo booth with their awesome awesomeness...of awesome.' She neatly split the pictures down the middle and handed half to Andre.

The first square was of them crossing their eyes and sticking their eyes. _(Cliche but he thinks it's cute nonetheless.)_

The second square was of Andre sneezing and Tori yawning. _(They were caught off guard. Don't judge.)_

The third square was of them backing up against the wall of the photo booth with terrified expressions because some hyper three-year-old boy jumped in screaming. _(His blonde head is visible at the edge of the picture and so is the slightly deranged look in his eyes.)_

But the last square was his favorite. It was of Tori leaning her head against his shoulder. They were smiling and had happy twinkles in their eyes. If you squint, you can see them slightly blushing. _(He really hoped [and still hopes] it's because she felt [feels] the same way about him. [Love.])_

The picture put him in a pleasant mood that was able to withstand the suckishness of the movie only Tori liked. She said she was always a sucker for movies where the best friends fall for each other. _(Is that a hint? Or just cruel irony? Because he gets way too much of the latter.) _

_"_Mr. Harris!"

Andre jerks his head up as he snaps out of his reverie. The talent agent_ (who still hasn't introduced herself) _stares at him expectantly. There's an awkward silence. "So...What do you think of?...Of my music, I mean?", he asks; afraid the talent agent might eat him.

"You're too innocent." She says bluntly. He can't quite believe his ears. Too innocent? Did he really live in a world where such a thing is possible? Answer: Apparently yes.

"Wait...what do you mean I'm too innocent?", he inquires becoming increasingly confused by the second.

"Innocent is for Taylor Swift and Disney stars. Not for anybody else who wants to make it in big Hollywood." She tells him this like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"But...", he manages to get out. _(He can barely hear himself over the sound of his dreams slowly heading towards oblivion.)_

"Your take on love is somewhat naive. Such happy endings like in your songs rarely happen. Besides, the music industry's core demographic doesn't want another Taylor Swift." Her voice cuts like a knife through Andre's hopes. His heart starts hatching an escape plan from his chest.

"What do you want me to do then?", he asks even though he's afraid of the answer. _(Many of his questions don't get the best answers. It all started when he asked where Grandpa went.)_

The talent agent _(he decides to call her the Wicked Witch of the West Coast, tagline Dream-Crusher)_ picks up her pencil and begins chewing on the well-worn eraser. She appears to be in deep thought _(Deep thinking in Hollywood, next thing you know he sees Jade wearing pink)_.

Andre closes his eyes, leans his head back, and starts counting the ticks of the clock.

The Wicked Witch of the West Coast slams her pencil down on the shiny wooden desk so hard, Andre briefly thinks she discovered the meaning of life.

"How bad do you want to be famous?", she asks while staring him down.

"Um...really bad...I guess.", he replies with a sigh. He's not quite sure where this is going.

"Are you willing to change? Just one simple thing. I see potential in you. All you have to do is hear me out." Her voice drips with false sweetness.

"Sure..." Andre's heart is still pounding like some sort of twisted soundtrack that's alerting the audience of the impending danger that the protagonist's blissfully unaware of.

"How adverse are you to the idea of changing your sound? You know, spice your lyrics up a bit? Make your songs apply more to the world of today." The Dream-Crusher might as well ask him to get rid of his soul.

"Um...Give me a few minutes to think about it." As the Wicked Witch of the West Coast nods her head yes and starts scribbling in her day planner, Andre's mind is racing at the speed of light.

He asks himself if giving up his musical style is worth fame. Why does he want fame anyways? Does it matter if he has his music? What's so great about fame anyways? His grandpa was fine without it. But then again, his grandpa didn't spend his whole life fighting for his parents' attention. Andre sighs and looks down. The picture of him Tori catches his eye. Everything seemed so simple then. No life-altering decisions or talent agents that didn't bother introducing themselves. Just the two of them, the artist and his unknowing muse.

But his parents...

It seems to be a certainty that the only way his parents will pay attention to him is if he's in the media and on the radiowaves, where they can't escape him. He starts drumming 'Tell Me That You Love Me' against the Dream-Crusher's desk.

What would Tori think? What would she do? Would this make his parents care? Or would it be futile to even try at this point?

Andre decides it boiled down to this: Staying true to himself and maybe even making Tori proud if he got to tell her about this over coffee one of these days or doing something that could finally make his parents aware of his existence.

Andre makes his decision.

"No."

"What?", the Wicked Witch of the West Coast screeches as her eyes bulge out. It's obvious she thinks Andre's five different kinds of crazy. She starts trying to persuade him to reconsider but he's already out the door.

Don't worry. He knows what to do next.

xiv.

One month later, he's unpacking boxes as he moves into his new apartment. Tori's outside getting the last of the boxes. Beck&Jade are on their way to pick up Cat&Robbie. His still psychotic grandma's sleeping in her room. _(Yes, his grandma's moving in with him. It's a nice alternative to her tiny house haunted by painful memories of once upon a time.)_

He finds an old tattered notebook in one of the boxes and smiles. It's the same notebook he sang from the day of his grandfather's funeral. He plops down on his new black leather couch and leafs through it.

As he reads it, he thinks of how good it feels to be free of his parents. It's not like they ever imposed any rules or restrictions on him. He's just relieved that he doesn't have to put up with their lack of love for all things not related to money and/or business.

He glances up to see Tori walk through the door. She drops the last box of clothes on the floor and takes a look around Andre's spacious penthouse apartment. There's a view of the Hollywood sign and the sun's streaming in, giving the tiled floors a golden halo.

She walks over to him and plops down next to him on the couch. She leans her head on his shoulder. She looks up at him and smiles. That smile gives him hope that they could be Tori&Andre someday. She takes the notebook that's even older than Andre and delicately starts leafing through the pages. Andre grins as she starts singing the songs.

He has his friends and his grandma in life without the hassle of his negligent parents. That thought is such a relief to him.

And should any problems arise, he'll be okay.

Because he'll always have the music to get him through it.

* * *

**(A/N) Oh my god. Dear god, that was long. I have mixed feelings about this to say the least. I don't really know what else to say except that the title and summary are from the _Can't Buy Me Love _by the Beatles because the Beatles are win. Oh and I apologize if the ending seems rushed. Don't worry. I'll be better someday. Hopefully. Well, bye and thanks for reading I guess. **


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